Unfortunately fortunate for me i got more struggles than being a black being. Not to suppress the fact that my brings inflictions and unnecessary convictions and wrongful termination without any compensation. Or the years of conditioning and miseducation self segregation molestation humiliation racial deification bastardization suffocation from ropes on trees and jaws broken on curbs in the streets raped and beaten murdered and cheated and.... No not to suppress any of thats truth it needs no proof its fact. But i live that by default from being black so u dont have to keep tellin me cause most blacks living in cities dont really know jack but talk as if they back in the 60's but call their brother a nigga and their sister a bitch and try to justify and say its our word but that word means they dont mean shit. And that just dont make no sense.
But see my struggles go further and deeper in my recesses. Though some come from issues that should have been corrected before my spirit was selected to be here.... Im here now. See i never met my biological father or any of his other biological sons and daughters never seen him in my life and that really has me bothered. Cause we never took a so i could learn how a man should step and we never had a talk so i could learn how man reflects and he never shook my hand so i could learn how a man connects . No the only thing i learned from him is how a man rejects. And how a man neglects. When i look into the mirror everyday i see a new unfamiliarity and my reflection stares at me skeptically cause theres half a man i see i cant see...if you know what mean.
My hearts been broken beat and shattered bamboozled and battered.
My trust in women isn't the same. Its actually a damn shame so when feelings start to surface i quickly moved away whether they knew it or not. And its not like i didnt love them too my heart just got bloodclots. See poppa was a Rollin stone and ive noticed ive had many places to call home. Must be a trait i learned.
I've seen some friends die. Some passed away some got shot others took their own life. Images of brains on Cadillac windows at a very young age still leave stains and haunt me to this day like is that my fate? Or will get shot in the neck on the hill or od on pills?
My parents are getting old. They aren't as healthy as they used to be.
And seems like everyone is getting cancer of some time type except me so every bump that i find makes me think its a sign that I'm running out of time....
Chuck Dueces
@truality_Radio
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